EPI 60 - How to Stay Calm Amid the Chaos: Finding Your Still Point in a Noisy World

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If you find it hard to stay calm amid all of the stuff that's circulating in our world, then listen to this episode today. So let's just go ahead and name this chaos as noise. Welcome to The Habit Within.

This podcast is for high achieving women, 35 and older, who seem to have it all together, but feel like they're constantly running on fumes, struggling to balance it all and losing sight of the woman they used to be. I'm Camille Kinsler, a former physician assistant turned transformational coach, blending science, positive psychology, and a metaphysical approach to habits, health, and vitality. If you've ever asked yourself, why am I so exhausted even after a full night's sleep? Or, I feel like I'm juggling so much, but I'm just barely keeping my head above water.

You are in the right place. Each week, we'll explore the real reasons behind feeling overwhelmed, trapped in the cycle of overworking, and constantly running low on energy, and how to break free from the patterns keeping you stuck in survival mode. It's time to stop living on autopilot and to start feeling like yourself again.

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Let's dive in. Hello, beautiful soul. Welcome back to The Habit Within.

Today, I want to talk about something that's been weighing on my heart. And I know it's buzzing around in the collective, because we asked the women's circle that we, my friend and I host monthly, what themes are coming up in their life that they would like to transmute during this month's session? Can we talk about staying calm amid the chaos? And I was absolutely a heck yes with that, because I feel it so big right now too. If you find it hard to stay calm amid all of the stuff that's circulating in our world, then listen to this episode today.

So let's just go ahead and name this chaos as noise. And I'm just going to say it's this constant noise that's going on. And there is so much going on in the world right now, big, important things, things that we should care about and that we do care about.

But somewhere in all of this, between the breaking news stories, the tragic headlines, the scroll-worthy reels, the background hum of shoulds and I have tos, we lose something sacred. And that is our calm, clear center, that inner still point, that habit within, that peace and calm, the place where we know what matters, the place where we can actually hear ourselves think. So today, let's take a breath together.

Let's go ahead and do that. And let's pause the noise and come back to ourselves, because here is the thing. Not all the noise is bad.

Some of it calls to our hearts and wakes us up. It reminds us that we're alive and that we want to be part of this world. It's the kind of noise that stirs us into meaningful action, the kind that helps us show up and say, I am here and I care.

What can I do to help? The service part of us, the kind of noise that is this pseudo urgency, the clickbait headlines designed to hack our nervous systems, stories that stir up these really big, strong emotions, but don't actually help us move forward or make a difference. They pull us in and they drain our energy and they leave us feeling hopeless or guilty without offering a path to real action or change. And let's name that.

There's also this piece of identity noise that pops in there that you're not doing enough. That voice that whispers, if I don't respond to this, does that make me a bad person? Or in my case, it's, am I complicit as a privileged white woman? If I scroll past this, it's a real question. It deserves reflection, but it also deserves discernment.

And then there's that background noise. This is the sneaky one, guys. It's that white noise machine that you turn on at night to help you sleep.

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Does anybody else do that but me? Except it's on all day long. It's the emails. It's the texts.

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It's the group chats. It's the laundry piles. It's the mental tabs left open.

It is the distraction. None of it is really that urgent, but added together, it creates this kind of static that dulls our intuition, drains our energy, and fills the space where clarity used to be. When all three of these noises pile up, and there's this cacophony, then our nervous system goes into overdrive.

We move from being these conscious creators of our lives to hyper-vigilant responders. Like we talked about in episodes prior, instead we're like these hyper-vigilant soldiers waiting for our next command. Instead of being a woman who chooses what she wants to hear, what she wants to carry, what she wants to hold, what she wants to respond to, what she wants to care about today.

So how do we find the calm and the chaos? That is the question we're answering. And as always, I have a sample practice for you, and it's all about whether we do it or not. But what I like to do is I like to pause.

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And when I feel overwhelmed, it's typically because the noise is turned up really high in all three of these areas. And so I have to ask myself, is this mine to carry today? So maybe it's mine to carry some other day, but is it mine to carry today? Is this something that I'm truly passionate about? Or do I feel that identity piece in me that feels guilty? Guilty for not doing it because of something that's within my lineage. Can I take action on it today? So if I marked yes to yes, I care about it.

And yes, I'm passionate about it. Can I do anything about it right now and today? Or is it just stirring up emotion without direction? Can I put it on my to-do list for something to do tomorrow or next week? Is this making me sad? Am I getting, if I do have this emotional reaction to it, is it making me sad? Is it creating and stirring up these emotions? And if it is, then I need to ask myself, what was going on before I started looking at whatever headline or news article? Why is it making me sad? Is it making me sad because it's a really sad story, which is going to put me in a pit of despair and not ruminating on the sadness of the story versus doing something creative and productive in the world that can actually have this massive ripple effect? Is it making me sad because I wanted to be sad for sad's sake? Is this sad story really going to move the dial? And y'all, my husband is an immigration attorney. He works with asylum clients.

He has sad stories that he brings home every day. And at one point, I had to tell him I could not hear about them anymore because it was sad for sad's sake. He is the activist.

He is out there and he is doing the work. And I am so profoundly proud of him. However, him bringing the story, the detailed story, and he loves to add things out as well, was heartbreaking.

And it wasn't allowing me to care for and act in kindness with my family around me, the things that I needed to do in the moment. Now, there are moments in time where I'm absolutely willing to hear his stories because he needs to have somebody, a sound board, he needs to have somebody he can discuss this with too. But just coming home and sharing the sad stories just for sad's sake and then allowing me to get deeper and deeper into the hole of despair is not helpful.

So I really want you to look at that. Is it making you sad? And is that sadness actually going to make you act on it? There can be this noise that we talked about that's just really helping you avoid doing the thing that you know you need in your soul to do, that you're meant to do, and that you're allowing all this noise just to be there. So it will distract you.

It's serving a purpose. So you don't actually have to do some of the hard things to move the needle forward in your life. Because usually if there's something that we know our soul is really meant to do, we have to actually go through a little bit of being uncomfortable in order to get to that next stage of our lives.

So check that out too. Is the noise just distracting you from really stepping into that next version of yourself? And this last one gets me the most because I use a lot of the outside world in order to distract me from what I'm really meant to do. I can find myself scrolling on social media or clicking on the news because I am not actually willing to take action.

And it seems like I'm coming from a place of interest and of worry and of concern. But really, it's just procrastination for me living in the real world, putting myself out there in the real world with real people. So sometimes we are meant to rest.

And sometimes I know we are meant to write. And sometimes I know we are meant to connect with our kids and go outside and nourish ourselves with a meal. But when the noise gets loud and louder and louder and louder, sometimes we don't know when we need to rest, when we need to write, when we need to connect because it's so loud.

And if you're like me, we need to be careful about that. Because I'll spend every day reacting instead of creating if I'm not consciously aware of this. So here's your gentle reminder today.

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You don't have to carry all the world's grief at once. Let me say that again. You do not have to carry all the world's grief at once.

We are not meant to do that as humans. You don't have to respond to every single notification or email. You especially don't need to do that when it's when you're off the clock, when it's after five.

And you don't have to feel guilty for turning down the noise so that you can hear your own soul speak. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to pause.

You are allowed to not have to worry about the world's problems every single second of the day. You are allowed to ground yourself to choose what matters for you today, which might be different another day. And this is not selfish, my love.

This is sacred. When you give yourself the gift of calm amid the chaos, then you become that kind of person that the world actually needs. Not reactive but rooted.

Not scattered but sovereign. Not noisy but very clear and conscious. I see you, my love.

I'm with you. And I'm here. Turning down the volume with you too.

And until next time, let's do this. Let's stay whole and remember that the habit within you is always available when you pause and you listen. Much love.

Oh, and P.S. Don't forget to download the worksheet that goes along with this episode. And in that space is our power and clarity.