EPI 56 - How to Live Like You're at a Retreat

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Welcome back to another episode of The Habit Within. I'm your host, Camille Kinsler, and this episode was inspired by a four-day weekend I just had with some friends. It was so phenomenal, and I'll tell you all about it, but it really allowed me to bring in this thought, this inquiry that I've been having lately around what I love to call intentional living, conscious living in our lives.

And this is more about when you go to yoga class and you set an intention before your session, this is more than just that. This is not an intention in a yoga class, like a set it and forget it type of thing, but truly weaving in intention into our daily lives. So I spent this phenomenal weekend with some friends in a stunning Texas Hill Country mansion.

Y'all, this place slept 38 people. And the woman whose birthday it was that we were celebrating was unapologetic and creating spaces filled with intention. And I use this word unapologetic wisely, because in the past, I might've been hesitant, even worried that people would think that I was weird or that they wouldn't be into it or that it would come off as like too much if there was a weekend filled with intention.

So filled with activity to connect with ourselves and with others. But after this weekend, as being a participant and not a guide in this experience, I saw just how ready people are for intentionality to really tap in and have genuine, authentic connection with other human beings and with themselves. And we had a mixed bag of people there.

Some of the people had never even done yoga before or meditated. Others were seasoned facilitators. I mean, these people knew how to hold space and just really drive the energy in the room.

And yet each person from that newbie beginner to that experienced facilitator, each found something truly meaningful, something that really renewed them, evoked emotion, evoked a sense of self and deepened their experience. It's a powerful reminder that intention isn't just something that we set. It's something that we actually live.

So in place of the bliss break worksheet, if you guys haven't been getting those at the end of the episode, go back and look in the show notes and you can download worksheets that really go deeper into every episode. I highly recommend them and I spend time curating them each week. So please, if that's something that calls to you, go and get those worksheets.

In place of that, this week, I'm offering a free 11 minute. It actually was perfectly 11 minutes and 11 seconds long training that includes a simple five minute morning ritual and routine to set your intention so you can start your day with clarity and purpose. And you can find that in the show notes.

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So now let me take you back to 10 years ago when my mornings were absolutely chaotic, back to when I created this five minute morning ritual. I'd wake up already feeling behind my mind racing with everything that I needed to do. And before my feet even hit the floor, I was already behind.

I'd reach for my phone and I would scroll through emails, maybe get lost in social media. And suddenly an hour had passed. My energy was completely scattered in everybody else's business.

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Anybody else like that? It was in this news article of some woman I've never met. It was in a Facebook friend and how she lost her dog. It was in an Instagram ad.

And now I'm looking to buy some random hair thing that I don't even need. And the rest of the day is just a blur of me catching up. Does this sound familiar to anybody? Give me an amen if this sounds familiar to you.

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I knew that something had to change. So I started implementing this simple intentional morning practice. And again, you can get that in the attached really short video, but it was a way to really reset my energy before the day even began.

And it totally worked. And it was something that I implement with all of my clients. It's one of those first action steps, because we all need to feel calmer, clearer and in control.

And in fact, this ritual and intention setting practice was one of the things that was a common thread through each of my clients. They all raved about this one the most because it's so simple and it's so powerful that it really helped them shift and unlock more energy and mental clarity and calmness in their day. And we all need that, especially if we're going through these hormonal changes throughout the day, we need to find areas where we can really take control of our lives.

But while morning rituals are super powerful, intention isn't just for the mornings or for our yoga class. So how can we bring the same level of intentionality to the rest of our lives? How can we create meaningful moments like my friend did at her birthday party? And y'all, I'll tell you about the details at the end of this episode, but how can we create an ad intention to work meetings or to our family dinners that we have almost every night, or maybe even pre-wedding celebrations? How can we move beyond those silly party games at baby showers and instead really create something deeper like a blessing way? Have you guys heard of a blessing way? It's this beautiful spiritual ceremony that honors a woman's transition into motherhood. It's also known as a mother's blessing ceremony.

I've done this for a few friends and it is so gorgeous. And no, I didn't create the blessing way. It's actually a borrowed tradition from the Navajo, I believe.

I'm not a hundred percent sure about that, but it is a native American tradition. And I'm so forever grateful for that. So I'm really getting to practice this and really figure out how I want to create some intention around a couple of big events that are coming up in my life.

And I get to step aside and put aside the worry of what other people are going to think about me and really focus on the intention that I'm trying to create within these two different milestones that my friends are having. One of my dear friends is turning 50 and the other is getting married for the first time. And so we're planning a weekend away in the Puget Sound for my friend's 50th.

And she's going to have friends old and new and family there. This space is gorgeous. I've been there before.

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It's their family place on the Sound and it creates a beautiful backdrop for an excellent party with big bonfires and all the things and canoes and kayaks and hammocks and all the beauty of the Pacific Northwest. And what I really want to do is create a space for deeper connection. And, and so I don't want to go into detail just in case she listens to this episode, but I'm connecting with people to see how we can create more intentionality around that weekend.

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Also, my dearest friend who is getting married for the first time and she's having a really small wedding, but instead of having a bachelorette party, how can we have like a blessing way type of ceremony for her coming into a different sort of commitment with her current partner? And again, I want to be honest that there's a small part of me that wonders if people will feel uncomfortable with such a heartfelt experience. It's a natural to consider others' comfort levels, which I totally get, but I have to trust this kind of intentionality speaks to a universal truth that we all want to be seen, that we all want to be heard and that we all want to be loved. And a little part of me too is wondering if they're going to feel uncomfortable being the center of attention this way.

And because they're both massive givers, they would do anything for anyone. It might be even harder for them to receive, but again, like this is their moment. This is their time.

And I so want to fill them up with love. So what my friend did in this four day weekend is she really blended what a retreat would look like and what a party house would look like. And she blended those two together.

So you have the intentionality of these opportunities to drop in and get to know yourself and do some self-inquiry and self-discovery and then a way to connect with others on this deeper level. Then she also had a ton of fun. Like it was all about having a good time.

It was all about doing things that you wanted to do. It didn't have any sort of strictness or rigidness that sometimes a retreat can have. It was all about fun and laughter and joy.

So she would have things like I led a breathwork session. She had sound healing. She had an experiential practical application.

It's called the wheel of consent. She also had an open mic where people could read poetry or play music or do whatever they wanted. She had a silent disco and she had this beautiful ceremony where we all expressed what she meant to us and how much we valued her in her life and gave her a rose.

So it was this beautiful blend of ceremony and fun and play, which I am all down for, and rest. I had a ton of rest. So my question and my invitation to you is how can you bring, how can we bring more of this into our everyday life? How can we have that blend of retreat and party in the same place at the same time? Because I believe there is room for both.

So for example, at work it'd be before stepping into a meeting you take a deep breath and set an intention of how you want to show up. I used to do this all the time before I'd enter a patient room because I would go from one patient to the next up to sometimes 40 in a day and they would blur and I would get tired. I would get exhausted.

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If it was flu season, I would be hearing the same thing over and over and over again. So I was able to really pause and set the intention. I do this before I even come into my house when I've been out working all day and I come home and my kids are going to be here.

My family's going to be inside. They've had a different type of energy and experience for the day as I'll take a couple breaths and ground myself and say that I want to show up in full presence when I walk into the house. Try beginning with maybe a small gratitude practice where each person shares one thing they're thankful for for the day.

Or maybe start with a prayer or blessing the food and just really watch how that changes the atmosphere at the table. Maybe in conversation with friends truly listen and ask yourself, am I the one receiving right now or am I the one that's giving? And really that's funny that I say that because we spoke about that in the wheel of consent. You can actually look that up.

We did what's called spicy level one. I guess there's like a spicy level four of this wheel of consent, but we did it more on like the friend zone area. But it's more about like, what is my purpose within this conversation? Did the person come to me and really need somebody to listen to them? Or is this somebody that I'm going to and I really need for them to listen to me.

So if you're listening, not just responding, but to really, truly understand what they're saying and ask deeper questions and really hold space for whatever they are going through in that moment. And maybe at parties or gatherings, you create a moment, a moment of meaning, right? Which can be really uncomfortable if we say, Hey, look at me here. I'd really love to acknowledge the journey that's brought everyone here today.

More than just a toast, right? Where we're like, cheers to whomever really diving into what brought us all together in the moment for whatever gathering that we're here for. And then maybe in the day to day, it's those little moments that shape our experiences. So setting an attention before you start your work day, like I mentioned, before you go into your house after work, maybe a mindful breath before speaking or choosing to be present with a loved one rather than multitasking.

I mean, that takes, you know, an intention to say, I know that I'm cooking food and listening to a podcast right now, but my partner just walked in. I'm going to stop doing those and just look at him or her for at least a few moments before getting back to my tasks. So if you're wondering where to start, I've got you covered because I have that free 11 minute and 11 second training in the show notes that will walk you through this simple morning routine to set the intention in your day from the moment you wake up throughout your day.

And remember that living with intention isn't about just doing more. It's really about being more present, more connected and more aligned with what truly matters. And the best part, it's something you can begin right now and it's totally free until next time.

I love stay intentional, stay present and keep creating a life that feels like yours.