EPI 55 - Reclaiming Your Vitality Understanding Hormones and Life Stages

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Hey, hey, welcome back to The Habit Within. My name is Camille Kinslow, your host, and I am actually recording this podcast on the same week that I recorded my other one. I don't typically batch my podcasts.

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Batch just means that you record multiple in the same day or the same week in order to get ahead. But I'm so inspired by this topic that I wanted to share it with you. Yesterday, I was invited to present in front of my dear, dear friends, voice of she community.

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And this is the topic that I presented and that we discussed and shared. And it just felt so lit, so alive, and so part of every woman's experience that I wanted to bring it to you. Plus, I also received feedback from one of my beloved sisters and listeners of the podcast, which really fuels me.

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So if this podcast inspires you, motivates you, please reach out and let me know because it just makes me want to do more of them. And please, if you could, hit follow or subscribe to the podcast. That way we can get in front of more listeners.

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So my intention for today's podcast is that we reconnect with our bodies and we do that by honoring the season of life that we are in. And what we're going to do is look at how hormones play a role in our energy, emotion, and our well-being. So there are many external things that can help support us when we're looking at hormone balance.

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So that can be anywhere from bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. It can be the life wave patches that I've spoken about before, which is a little different because it doesn't actually have any medication in it. It uses your own body's light to reflect back and create peptides.

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But my point is, is that there are many other external things that we can do. But today what we're going to do is really explore the internal resources that we have to see how we're honoring the season of life that we're in and that came before us in order to move through the energy and hopefully move through signs and symptoms of perimenopause and menopause with a little bit more grace and ease. So that's what we're going to do in today's episode.

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And I just have to say, as a physician assistant, that being my background, I am obsessed with the human body. I love biology, physiology, pathophysiology, I'm obsessed with it. But more importantly, I love learning and I've spent the last decade of my life learning and absorbing and in deep research really around how our body responds to our environment, our thoughts and our emotions.

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And it is profound. It is so important that really, if you don't have that foundation, if we really don't have the habit of our mind, our brain and our body really honed in, then it kind of doesn't matter what else we do. We can throw in all these external supports and they won't have the same effect as if we really ground ourselves in to that internal environment that's going on, right? So what's happening inside of us, inside of our thoughts and our emotions.

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And when we can do that, when we can tap into that, then we truly can heal her, can heal our body and revere her and revere what she's trying to tell us in these different stages and phases of our life. And just so we're on the same page here, I'm just going to do a really quick high level overview of the 28 day moon cycle and how our hormones fluctuate within that 28 days. And we're going to look at progesterone and estrogen.

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Testosterone is also one of the hormones, but it doesn't really play a big role in the fluctuation of our moon cycle, of our menstrual cycle. And we're laying the foundation really about how those hormones, progesterone and estrogen really shape our energy, our emotions, and our wellbeing from the inside out. And it starts from the day that we have our first menstrual cycle or we have our first bleed until the rest of our lives.

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So understanding the cycle can give us incredible insight to how we can support our bodies and live in sync with nature. From there, what we're going to do is then explore the stages of a woman's life. And this is starting with reflecting on maiden energy, the maiden archetype, the mother archetype, the queen archetype, and the crone archetype.

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We're going to weave these together to show how they influence our experience, not only in a life cycle, but also in a month cycle and maybe even in a week cycle. And then maybe even in one day, how we can experience all of these archetypes and how important each of them are and how important it is to know what cycle you are in and then honor that. And as I'll share, the closing of one in order to enter into the other archetype is extremely important to honor that in order to be able to move to your next archetype.

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So quick high level, the 28 day moon cycle mirrors our menstrual cycle. It plays a really vital role in how we feel every day from day to day. Our hormones fluctuate through this cycle, influencing everything from our energy levels to our emotions, to our physical well-being.

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And if you do not track your cycle, please do this. If you have regular menses every 28 days or whatever it is for you, it can vary. Then you really can tune in to when you feel that your peak energy, when you feel more the crone energy of being a little bit more reclusive, when you feel more magnetic and vibrant, and all these things can really help you really decide when you want to do things socially, maybe at work.

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If you have some flexibility, it gives you some idea of how you want to shape your creative time. First, you're just like get it done time versus maybe creating or writing content or copy for your job or sending out emails that you can do those during different times in your cycle. So estrogen peaks around day 14, which is the time of ovulation.

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And this is when we're most magnetic. This is when people are highly attracted to us. This is when the pheromones are surging, if you will.

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But estrogen really helps support our energy, our mood, and our motivation. And this makes us feel super confident and outgoing. And yeah, this is when others want to just drink up our energy.

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We feel maybe more mentally sharp and capable of taking on challenges. Progesterone starts rising right after ovulation, and it peaks the second half of the cycle. That's also called the luteal phase.

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The first half is called the follicular phase. It's really hard for me not to go deeper into the weeds and all of this stuff, but I'm trying to just stay at a high level because it's not as important in this episode. But basically, progesterone is known as the calming hormone.

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So it really calms and soothes us. It prepares our body for pregnancy, if that's your thing. And it really gives us this sense of inner peace.

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When our progesterone levels are too high or too low, then that actually causes fatigue, irritability, and mood swings. Have you ever heard of that perimenopausal rage? Sister, if you're feeling that, can I just tell you, I so see you. I have absolutely felt that perimenopausal rage and anger.

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Where is this coming from? It's so out of place for me and scary. Scary for the people around me. So when we're looking at perimenopause and the fluctuation of hormones, the first hormone to start dipping is progesterone.

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So you might notice that you're having some trouble sleeping. That fatigue I was talking about, the irritability and mood swings. That can come before some of the other things, such as the lowering of estrogen.

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And when we have lowering of estrogen, that also can cause mood swings. Yay. But also hot flashes, night sweats, brain fog, vaginal dryness, all that stuff.

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But before you start saying, oh, my gosh, I'm in perimenopause, or I'm in menopause, or whatever, I want to say it's important to note that around 20% to 30% of women report no symptoms at all as they transition through perimenopause and menopause. OK? So that's very empowering to know that just because you might be in that age range of 35 and older does not mean that you're going to have symptoms. And it can be very likely that you won't.

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So as we're looking at this, as we're looking at the shifting of our hormones when we become 35 and older, I want to relate this to this thing that's called the life cycle, I guess, if you will, of a woman. And just as our body goes through these cycles of hormonal changes, so do we in our different stages. And it's symbolized by what I had mentioned earlier about the maiden, mother, queen, and crone.

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And each of these has their own tasks and challenges. So I think it's really beautiful to be able to say, this is where I am, not because you're wanting to stick in this rigid label of who you are and what phase you are in your life, but more is recognizing the fluidity of each of these symbols and how you can pull and harness and empower yourself through each of these archetypes. And I think the most important thing to take note of as we continue is just like building a house, if the earlier tasks are not properly completed, right? If the foundation is weak, it does not matter how beautiful our structure is.

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It doesn't matter how beautiful our court's countertops or our marble floor or the fixtures. If our foundation is weak, then we'll have to just repair all that stuff later ourselves anyway. So when we're looking at moving through these stages in this idea of years, then I want you to really think about like, how can I build the foundation from, or do I need to go back and fix the foundation from before and maybe build it up and add more support in order to be able to move through the other phases of my life later? So again, we'll dive a little bit more into that.

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So it'll make more sense. But each of these stages really exist within us, woven together, and they influence how we move through life. They are not just defined by age, but by the essence we embody at different points in our journey.

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And that's why I mentioned that we could even go through all of these stages in a 24 hour period. We as women are so fluid like that. So we'll start with the maiden, and the maiden is the young woman.

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It's from the moment that you have your first bleed. And when you are a maiden, you are pure of heart and full of curiosity and in love with the mystery of life. And the maiden experiments and discovers and envisions all the possibility life has to offer.

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The maiden is whole unto herself. She finds meaning within her own being, not needing validation from others. She carries the seed of all potential.

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And her job at this stage, at the maiden stage, is to come to know her thoughts, ideas, values, and purpose. And I have to say, when I was deep in inquiry about these stages, that wasn't my experience as the maiden. I might have had moments where I pulled meaning and I was creating my own thoughts, ideas, and values.

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Absolutely. But there was so much that I still was looking outward to receive. And I feel like that with social media and with people during this phase is that this can really obscure the finding the true meaning of your own being and really not needing others to validate you with likes and things that we get on social media.

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So it's just something that it was really like feeling into. This maiden era for me came later. And again, that's great.

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It needs to come and it needs to be actualized in order to move through. So really, I would love for you to think about during this maiden time for you, were you able to really create your own thoughts, ideas, values, and purpose? Because what happens is the shadow side of the maiden is that she can lose herself into trying to please others. And she might risk in this stage turning from her inner wisdom.

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I know that was very true for me that I started shutting off that voice that I heard in the earlier maiden years to the mid maiden years where I just stopped listening to my truth. But the maiden strength really comes from discovering her own voice, her own path, and her own worth. Remember, there is a worksheet that's attached to the podcast that dives deeper and it dives deeper into inquiry and questions that you can ask yourself.

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So this would be a really good one for you to go down to the show notes and download the handout that's associated with this when you have some space to really sit there with your thoughts. So the next archetype or energy is the mother archetype. And this really represents the phase of creation.

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So in this stage, we can devote ourselves to others. It's in nurturing of people, projects, ideas. This could be the birth of an actual child, or the creation of art, or the building of a career.

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Sometimes it might be a little of everything. But the mother takes the vision of the maiden and manifests her into the world. In doing so, she learns selflessness, humility, and responsibility.

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The shadow of the mother can occur when she loses herself in service of others. Let me say it again for the people in the back. The shadow side of the mother is when she loses herself in service to others.

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Becoming the martyr and neglecting her own needs. The mother's archetype is to actualize the dreams of the maiden and manifest them into reality. Learning to put others before herself is not at the cost of losing her sense of self.

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So I want you to think about your mother archetype. Was that actual the creation of a human being? Was it the creation of art or building a career? And like I said, or all of the above? And did you find that you lost yourself in service to that? And how can you balance that again by not neglecting your own needs? Not being the martyr in the story. When we actualize the dreams of the maiden and become the mother, then we can move into the queendom.

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The queen era. And the queen embodies this mature woman. She's established a strong sense of self and now focuses on the mastery of her creations and responsibilities.

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I love it. She negotiates her power and responsibility and enjoys the fruits of her labor. And this is so beautiful because she has more freedom to focus on her passion.

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She makes room to have more freedom to focus on her passions. And she's learned to set boundaries and prioritize her needs. And this is the most important part of it.

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While still contributing to the world. And for myself and many of the women that I know, this is where we are. We're in our queen era and it's longer than it used to be.

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I feel like that's why it's even added. So these archetypes typically are in a triad where it's the maiden, mother, and crown. And the queen is something that I've seen added more recently.

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Because we live longer as women. So we need to add that in. But it also makes so much sense.

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I feel like a lot of the women I know are right here. So this might be where you are. We're more strong in the sense of self.

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And we've mastered some of these creations. And we've created these boundaries and prioritized our needs. But we're still in the world.

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We're still hanging with maybe our kids. Maybe our kids are still younger now. Maybe we still have things that we want to contribute to the world.

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But the shadow side of the queen I think is really interesting. And I had to really sit with this and what it really meant. What it really meant to me.

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But the queen can become consumed by her power. So she can hold so rigidly the boundaries that she's created. And prioritizing her needs.

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That it's rigid. It's not flexible anymore. And there's reason for that.

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And the reason for that is because she feels like she needs to hold on to those things that's taken a while. To enjoy the fruits of her labor. To create and have responsibility for her life.

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For this mastery that she's created. That she's afraid that she'll lose it. And the queen's job is to really renegotiate her boundaries.

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Realize her power. And use her wisdom for the greater good. Without becoming overwhelmed by control.

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By controlling the life around. Learning to trust herself. That she has within her all that she needs.

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In order to be able to move through to the crown. And the crown is really a surrendering of the ego. It represents a wise woman.

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Who's lived fully and now seeks solitude and reflection. She turns inward to share the wisdom she has acquired over the lifetime. And she holds nothing back.

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She didn't give two F's. She speaks her truth with honesty and depth. Teaching and guiding others who seek her wisdom.

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This is where wisdom is passed on from generation to generation. And this is a beautiful full circle. Where she might return to the seed of the vision that was created in the maiden.

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Combining the vitality of youth with the wisdom of age. Oh my gosh. Can I get a hands up for anybody else who's excited to go to the crown phase? The shadow of the crown though can emerge because she might feel bitter.

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And she might feel isolated. And she's clinging too closely to her past identities. We have to let go of the past identity in order to really become who we are becoming.

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And her challenge really is to embrace the fullness of life. And let go of what's no longer serving. I love this so much.

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And I hope that you do too. And that you find yourself in one of these archetypes. And I know that I actually felt into that crown archetype this past week.

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And what was really interesting about that is it does lead full circle back into the maiden. Where I have this creation that birthed through that. And I felt really sad about being in that crown phase.

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In that crown energy where I felt a little bit more isolated. And what really would have happened if I would have just let myself be in it. And in the wisdom of it.

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Then I would have reminded myself that what was to come from it was an idea. Was this vibrancy that is returned in the maiden era. And how that then easily merges into the creation.

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The creatrix. The mother. And then where I am now feeling into the archetype of the queen.

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And I think that when we can allow ourselves to see that it's not only stages and phases of life. But even within the month or even within a week. Then we can give ourselves so much grace and say.

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This feels like I'm in the maiden stage. What do I need to know about her in order to fully support this archetype. This energy.

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So let's tie this back in on where you might be in your hormonal journey. Whether it's perimenopause, menopause or somewhere else. So I'm going to add ages to our archetype.

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And by no means does it mean that if you're in an age range that you're in that archetype. This is just loosely laying this out. Saying that in the maiden phase.

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That's any period from the moment you have your first period. To the maybe around age 25. Again I'm really making this up.

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And then when you're looking at your mother period. Maybe that's anywhere from 25 to 35 to 40. And then the queen archetype is anywhere from 35 to 60.

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So it's a really long era of time. A long period of time. And then after that can be the crone era.

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Where it would be after menopause. So postmenopausal. So I'm not really in that full-time crone postmenopausal era.

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So I don't really know what it's going to feel like. I have been in all of the other stages. So I'm acutely aware of those.

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I'm intimately aware of those archetypes. So I would love to hear from anyone who is in that crone archetype. Is postmenopausal.

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To get some feedback. And for we women who are on the earlier journey of the life cycle. That we can learn from you.

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Learn the wisdom from you. So please share that. So as we're looking at this.

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And we're loosely aging these different archetypes. I want to ask you. Where do you see yourself right now? And this is just the grand theme of where you see yourself.

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We're acknowledging that you can be in any of these phases. In a week. A month.

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A year. And even in a day. And I really want to bring this to light.

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Because I want you to see whether you are stunted in a certain archetype. Or whether maybe you are having perimenopausal symptoms of hot flashes. Night sweats.

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Waking up at 3 a.m. Something like that. That may be due to an incompletion of an archetype before. Or that it's really meant that you should be moving into the next archetype.

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But you're holding on tightly to something. So identify where you might be. Where you think you might be.

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And there is no right or wrong answer. Remembering there's a worksheet that's attached in the show notes. So you can dive deeper into this inquiry.

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But let's look at yourself. Let's say that you identify in this mother era. This mother energy.

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Where you're still very devoted to people and projects and ideas. Because this truly lights you up. It energizes you.

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But let's say that it no longer energizes you. And I can attest to this. I am a different mother with my now nine-year-old than I am with my now 13-year-old.

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When my younger child was a toddler, I was very different. So I was 40 years old when my youngest was two years old. Or I'm two or three years old.

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And so I was a very different mother when I was in my mid-30s with my first. And what I recognized is that some of the things were harder and harder and harder for me to do with them that I was able to do with my younger one. There was resistance there.

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Like laying in bed with him at night for hours like I did with my other one. Just wasn't jiving with me. It was very hard for me.

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And really being able to look at this, I understand why. It's because I was moving out of that mother energy, hormonally speaking, into more of this queen energy. This transition to where, yes, it was still important to me to care for things outside of myself.

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And equally as important for me to create boundaries. And to start really nurturing who I was being. And really creating more self-care and self-love.

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I was able to hold both. But I had only known myself as a maiden and as a mother. I hadn't known myself in this queen status.

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So it felt like I was doing something wrong. Like I wasn't being a good mother. When in reality, this is just the natural process of life.

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And so this is why I feel like it's so important to look at this as it relates to hormones. As it relates to age. If you see yourself in this mother energy, but you see yourself not satisfied within it.

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I want you to look and see if maybe your maiden era wasn't completed. Or if you should transition or need to look at transitioning into the queen energy. So for instance, something that you can do to reflect on if your maiden energy was complete.

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If that archetype has been complete. Is to ask yourself if you feel like that during that time, were you really able to know yourself? To know your thoughts, your ideas, and your own values. Really what your purpose was.

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And I think a lot of times we could be over parented during that time. And so we don't know what our own personal thoughts and values are. And maybe even the institutions that we were in.

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And certain churches. They were the things that told us who and what we loved and liked. And how we needed to be.

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And so we didn't really build our own value system during that time. Or maybe that you were like me. And that you noticed that you betrayed some of that instinct that you had.

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I remember always saying that I felt like I knew myself more when I was like 16, 17, 18 years old. Than I did when I was in my early 20s. And it's because I was betraying a part of myself in those maiden eras.

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Which delayed some of my ability to really become the mother. And if you feel complete in that era. Then maybe let's look at do you need to transition into the queen energy.

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And that really looks like where you no longer feel like devoting yourself to people, a project, an idea. As your primary focus is fulfilling. And it's no longer working for you.

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You're just like this isn't working for me anymore. And that takes courage. Because when you say something is no longer working for you.

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That means that you have to figure out what will work. Which takes a lot of trial and error. It takes courage to say I'm going to do things differently now.

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And it takes courage for you to say that when people have only known you in a certain way. Many of you might have only known your partner during your mother era. Your mother energy.

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And now you're switching into like this queendom where I need my own personal space. And if you deny yourself this opportunity to create the space that you're really needing. Because you're still giving to others instead of yourself.

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Then possibly this could be one of the causes of hot flashes. And night sweats. And irritability.

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And anger. Because you're not really looking at what you need. So maybe this is a beautiful opportunity to ask yourself where are my needs not being met? Where do I need to create boundaries? Or where do I need to recreate my boundaries? Where do maybe I need to be a little less rigid so I can receive more? Because the queen energy is one of receptivity.

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She receives because she knows she deserves it. And maybe this is a good opportunity to ask yourself what can you let go of in the mother era that's no longer serving you? And then maybe if you are five or so years outside of your last day of your period. So your postmenopausal.

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Again I'm making these numbers up and this is why I would love for a wise woman to come and talk to us maybe on this podcast about this. Because I again love learning from women who have come before us. And if this is you really reflecting on are you better?