Introduction

[00:00:00] What have you wrote your script? What have you decided to be the protagonist, the hero of your own journey? That's the shift we're talking about today. 

[00:00:08] Hey, Hey, welcome back to The Habit Within. This is my first podcast to record in 2025 and I am here for it. And I'm so glad that you're here for it too. And I promise in 2025, I'm going to get a chair that is less squeaky. So you can stop hearing my squeaky chair. When I'm recording a podcast, my mic is just that good, I guess. 

[00:00:55] For those of you who are new here, welcome! I'm Camille Kinzler, and I love, love, love helping women 35 and over who feel frantic, worried, distracted, beyond busy, exhausted, and really, all in all, guilty for complaining. Find inner peace and fulfillment while still doing it all. Because I don't know if you're like me, I really love the majority of the things I do. So the idea of taking something off of my list is just not going to work. It's just not going to fit with my life and my lifestyle. But I've learned through the last decade of practice how to still have it all, but do it with peace and fulfillment and calm, all the while just feeling more magnetic and glowy and vibrant while I do it.

[00:01:46] As a recovering western medicine provider with over a decade of experience in clinical practice, I bring a holistic approach to you, to this journey, to help you really break free from all these quick fixes that are out there in the world and the repetitive thought patterns, what I like to call the habit of the mind that inhibit growth and vitality and really create this atmosphere, this place for you to come for true growth.

[00:02:14] So I am so glad that you're here. 

Creating Your Main Character Energy

[00:02:16] And today we're going to talk about a really fun topic. And it's one I think that is just perfect for the beginning of the new year. Because this is the time in our lives where we typically do an audit. We audit what happened in the last year and we create what we want for the year to come.

[00:02:31] And this is the calendar year that I'm speaking of where we have all of this energy and momentum from the people around us to create the life that we want and that we really desire. And the way that we're going to talk about this today is creating your main character energy. I love doing this and I do it multiple times throughout the year when I feel some of that vibrancy that I was talking to you about just a second ago and that glow.

[00:02:57] When I feel that dulling down, I'm like, okay, what's happened with my main character energy? I am looking more like I'm the no name actor that's mixed in with the crowd. That's all black and white in the distance. So I want you guys to imagine this, like, let's imagine that you're in the movies, and you have your popcorn in hand, and the film starts, and the screen lights up, and you see this captivating character step into the frame.

[00:03:22] So just think of your favorite actor, and there's just something truly magnetic about them. Recently, this actor for me is Emma Stone. I think that she is truly magnetic, and I loved her in Poor Things. Have you guys seen that? Oh, God, it was such a great movie. And really interesting, if you did like the movie, to read about how it was filmed and how the director got those characters ready for the type of performance that they delivered.

[00:03:50] It's really fun. It's really such a fantastic movie. But yeah, Emma Stone is this main character energy for me. So for me, I picture her walk onto the screen and Every moment, every word, every movement that she does just draws me in. Now, I want to ask yourself, for you, whatever character that is, What if that character was you?

[00:04:13] What if, in the movie of your life, you didn't just have to play a part, but you owned that starring role? So, I'm going to pull on my Emma Stone energy for this coming year, and who is your magnetic frontrunner? So here's the thing, too many of us go through life feeling like extras in our own story. We let the scripts of others define our actions, our worth, and our purpose.

[00:04:35] But what if you wrote your script? What if you decided to be the protagonist, the hero of your own journey? That's the shift we're talking about today. So let's flip this narrative because girl, it is time to stop playing small. We don't do that anymore. We don't play small anymore. 

Understanding Main Character Energy

[00:04:51] So what exactly is main character energy anyway?

[00:04:54] Maybe you heard about it on TikTok. I don't know. But it is really, truly where we embody confidence, presence. A deep sense of worthiness. It's a mindset that says, I am allowed to take up space. I deserve to pursue my dream. My story matters, or whatever it is for you. Whatever main character energy you want to draw in, that's what's important and I'll walk you through how to discover what this is.

[00:05:22] Alright, does that sound good? And if it does, let's go ahead and continue. But here's the catch, y'all. It's not something that just shows up one day. 

Developing Main Character Energy

[00:05:30] Your main character energy is a habit of the mind. It is something that you have to cultivate over time by shifting the way you think, feel, and act in your daily life.

[00:05:40] So let's talk about how you can start developing this main character energy today. And as always, this begins with the habit of the mind. So here are three shifts I want you to try. We're going to reframe the inner dialogue. So start catching the stories that you tell yourself. Are you the hot mess mom, or are you the woman who can handle anything?

[00:06:01] The story you tell yourself shapes your reality. I talk about this all the time in my podcast. So stop having this self deprecating humor. I remember when I was in my over drinking days and I would wake up the next morning feeling awful and we would like joke about like how much wine we drank the night before.

[00:06:21] It wasn't cute at all, yet we're using this self deprecating humor to make ourselves feel better? Ugh. Anyway, so instead of saying stuff like, I am such a disaster, y'all, I caught myself doing that, doing something this morning, having some negative self talk around getting older when I was looking in the mirror.

[00:06:41] And I caught myself and I was like, yo, this is not helpful for me. This does not lift me up. This does not let me step into my main character energy. This is actually defeating the glow. It is dampening that glow within me. And so I want you to catch yourself when you do this step too, and then reaffirm. I said, I am beautiful.

[00:07:03] I am beautiful. I am beautiful over and over and over again. I put on some lipstick. I sat up straighter. I got out of my comfies and put on some clothes. That made me feel better. That made me step into this new character energy. And I am beautiful, right? As are you. When we tell ourselves that we are, we are.

[00:07:25] So instead of saying stuff like, I am such a disaster, try saying something like, I am figuring it out, and I am stronger than I think. Number two, I want you to pre oratize your desires. 

Practical Steps to Embody Main Character Energy

[00:07:37] Just think about this. When was the last time you asked yourself what you want? Not what your kids want, not what your partner wants, not what your boss needs, but what lights you up.

[00:07:47] Main characters are guided by their desires and you deserve to be too. So, again, we always want to start small at this because if we start too big, then, uh, life gets in the way and we'll ditch our goal. So ask yourself, what would feel good today? It could be as simple as 15 minutes to drink your coffee in peace, or finally booking that yoga class.

[00:08:09] Alright, here's the thing too, is that one of the things that I'm doing in this new year is I'm not doing anything while I eat. I'm putting away my phone, my laptop, this is when I'm eating alone. Now, with my family, I don't normally have those things out, but when I'm eating alone, I'm just sitting down to eat.

[00:08:27] to sit there and be fully present with what I'm doing. In that moment, we'll see if that extends with walks and all the other things. But right now I still love to exercise with a podcast or some music on, but really prioritize your desires. My desire was I wanted to feel more present with myself. And so in order to do that, I needed to find something that I do on a daily basis, and I needed to say, Hey, this will bring me a little bit more peace and focus.

[00:08:55] to enter that next thing that I'm doing in my day. Number three is set boundaries without guilt. Main characters don't say yes to every subplot. Practice saying no when something doesn't align. And remember that every no is a yes. So you guys need to go back and check out one of my beginning episodes.

[00:09:14] Sometimes when we jump into podcasts, I know for myself, I don't go and listen to the beginning, like the first few episodes that were ever delivered. I can't say that my podcast style was. Much better back then, but the content is still, I feel very valuable. So go listen to that, go check out episode five.

[00:09:32] It's the number one mindset shift instead of saying no to drinking. And you can put in, if it's not drinking is your vice, you can stick in whatever other thing is your vice, but the whole point is, is that when you say no to something, you're actually releasing yes to something else. So. Remember that when you are creating these boundaries in your life to be a healthier, happier person.

[00:09:51] Alright, so I want you guys to really embody this energy. So I want you to think about the way you describe yourself. All of it. The physical, mental, emotional. Imagine playing a movie in your head and what do you see? What do you see? You being this current character. This isn't the main character energy, right?

[00:10:10] But this is the character that shows up on screen. So what do you see? How do you interact with others? Take a moment and make a list of these right now. For example, you might write something like, I'm tired all the time, or I'm caring and I'm always there for others, or I'm a bit scattered, but I'm super creative.

[00:10:29] Now imagine that there's a circle and that circle is you, babe. Where do you put this list? Most likely you put the list inside the circle because you believe that the list of things that I had to describe yourself are a part of you. But what if you audited this list and you moved absolutely every single thing that was on the list from inside the circle to outside of the circle?

[00:10:55] Because these things are actually not part of you. They are not who you are. This list of characteristics are really often given to you by friends, family, culture, and religion, even sometimes the demographics or geography of where you're located, and we just run with it. But if you take a second to start fresh, and you take responsibility for yourself and who you are, you'll recognize that these things are outside of you, and you could decide what characteristics you'd like to take on.

[00:11:29] Now, here's the kicker, when you remove who you think you've been, when you remove who you've been, this tape that you've been running, it can get really uncomfortable. This is where so often we revert back to old habits and ways of being, like, Over drinking, procrastinating, eating too much food, whatever it is, but if you stay conscious and aware and breathe through it without creating a story, I promise you will find freedom.

[00:11:57] This is why breathwork to me is such a powerful tool because it can really help us release some of the stuck energy that's in our body without having to create all these stories that's attached to it, without having to have years and years of therapy. It's something where we can create safety within our own body so we can move through this uncomfortableness, we can move through this uncomfortable feeling and when we can get our nervous system in a safe state, that is where everything improves, that's where our health improves, that's where our connection to others improve, that's where creativity lies, that is where the golden Nugget is at, peeps.

[00:12:37] If you have this clean slate, what are you gonna add? So if you get to this point where that circle is completely clean, what will you decide? Because you're taking responsibility this year, babe. What will you decide to put back in there? 

Reflecting on Past Achievements

[00:12:51] So last year, I'm going to give you an example of Mine, and I love doing this as a simple way to kind of audit what kind of new character energy that I took on last year.

[00:13:00] I took on the identity or this characteristic of a weightlifter. I started lifting weights really regularly, three times a week for an entire year. I started eating a high amount of protein. I started this podcast last year, actually in February will be one year since I've had this podcast. So I've became a podcast host.

[00:13:20] I also became a breathwork facilitator. The other thing I did is I started holding space for women in person. I've been doing it online for seven plus years, but this is the first time that I've Started holding a group of women in person. These are things that I had no idea how to do when I started them.

[00:13:38] I had no idea how to eat a hundred plus grams of protein a day or how to do it. I'm still working on it, man. I can get to a hundred pretty easily, but anything above that, that takes a lot of work. I didn't know how to start a podcast. I had no idea what kind of equipment or software I needed, or hosting platform.

[00:13:54] I knew nothing about it. I didn't know how I was going to become a Breathwork facilitator, but I knew I wanted to facilitate more in person events this year, and Breathwork is my jam. I love it. I've been loving on it since two thousand, two thousand and seventeen. So that made the most sense for me. So maybe last year you took on these new characteristics that you didn't even realize that you did.

[00:14:14] So I want you to take a second and really look at your last year, because maybe you took on characteristics that was your main character energy, and you didn't really recognize that, that's what was happening. And when you do that, it will be a lot easier for you to create something this coming year. 

Setting New Goals for the Year

[00:14:29] So this year, I'll let you know a little bit about my new character energy that I'm looking at.

[00:14:34] I want to become a six figure business owner. I was a six figure earner when I was working for someone, now I want to do it for myself. I want to make that money on my own. I'm looking at being a multiple real estate owner to where I own multiple pieces of property. I also want to host live events with over 30 women.

[00:14:56] So these are some of the main character energy things that I'm looking at taking on. Now here's a kicker is I don't know for sure how I'm going to do all of these things. Do I think I'll figure it out? Do I think something will come along my path to say, like, here's an opportunity. Here's your next step to doing the business.

[00:15:14] Here's your next collaboration to host a live event. Yes. And I'm going to stay open and present for it. But if I wasn't intentional about this, then it could pass me on because what could happen is I could start getting into fear. How am I going to get the money to start this real estate business? Where am I going to host this live event?

[00:15:33] Will I be able to hold space for more than 30 women at one time? All of those things. But if I take on the characteristic as somebody who has already done it, then I know I can, if it's something that I created, if it's something that I envision in my life, it's something I can believe that I can do that I can.

[00:15:54] And take that on, too. 100 percent possible, 100 percent of the time, woman. So I want you to say it with me right now. 100 percent possible, 100 percent of the time. And yes, that means for you, too. If it's possible for somebody else, it is possible for you, too. Alright, so let's take a deep breath together. 

Staying Grounded and Overcoming Challenges

[00:16:15] So here's the thing about stepping into your main character energy.

[00:16:18] Not everyone is gonna love it. And that's okay. Some people are used to playing the sidekick role in their lives. And when they see you stepping up and prioritizing yourself, you might face resistance. It's so important for you to stay in awareness that when you emptied out the who you used to be and stepping into who you want to be, that that's going to feel uncomfortable.

[00:16:40] And so these things outside of you are going to start walking the boat, but you have to stay grounded. So find the thing that makes you stay most grounded. If it's exercising, running, not drinking, Reaching out to a therapist or coach or a friend if it's journaling or breathwork. Find the thing that keeps you most grounded.

[00:17:00] And notice when you're reverting back to the supporting role, okay? And remember, you are doing this for you, not for somebody else. So let their judgment be a reflection of where they are at, not where you're going, okay? So important for you to stay in awareness with this. 

Embracing Imperfection and Authenticity

[00:17:14] And as always, the main character energy is not about being perfect.

[00:17:17] We do not do the perfectionism thing here. Perfectionism is something we hide behind. We are just playing with this life. We are allowing things to be imperfect because that's where the fun is. That's where the joy is. I look at this with my kids when I want them to be perfect, right? I want them to always put their shoes on the shoe rack and hang their backpack up and put their lunchbox in the kitchen and all the things, right?

[00:17:42] And say thank you to people and yes, and no, and look at my, and have a great conversation and all of these things. I expect them in some way to be perfect, but you know what? Perfect is not fun. Perfect is not fun for them. They run into the house, they had a really exciting day. They're throwing off their shoes, they're throwing off their backpack.

[00:18:03] If they make it in the area where it needs to be hung, I try to let it slide for a couple of hours because they're running to their room to play or they're running outside to do something or they want a snack and they want to talk to me. But if I try to make them be perfect little beings. and control them, then it loses the fun in life.

[00:18:23] So, I want you to practice being more like a kid who's in the moment, throw off your shoes when you walk into the house, eat some chocolate, and turn on your favorite show for a half an hour while you're decompressing after work. Let it out a little. So your main character energy isn't about being perfect.

[00:18:42] It's about being present, authentic, and unapologetically you. The world does not need another cookie cutter version of success. It doesn't, it needs your brilliance. 

Conclusion and Weekly Challenge

[00:18:53] And this week's challenge, I want you to find one way to step into your main character energy. Maybe it's saying no to something that drains you, or maybe it's rewriting your inner narrative, or maybe it's putting on your boldest lipstick and rocking it like you own the place.

[00:19:07] Whatever it is, go for it. You're worth it. So thank you, my loves, for joining me on this episode of The Habit Within. If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who could use a little boost in their main character energy. And remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode. And until next time, stay bold, stay bright, and keep writing your own story.

[00:19:26] See you next time.