Introduction to Intentional New Year's Resolutions

[00:00:00] In this episode, I'm going to pull back the curtain on how to really choose intentionally what your New Year's resolution or goal is going to be and the exact steps to get there in order for it to be meaningful and for you not to fail come February. So join me in today's episode. Hello, everyone.

[00:00:42] Welcome back to The Habit Within. This is Camille, your host. 

The Holistic Approach to New Year's Intentions

[00:00:45] And we are going to talk about the holistic approach to New Year's intentions, resolutions, goals, whatever you want to call it. I wanted to take a moment to talk about this because guess what? It is almost the end of the year. It is that time of year where most of us think about what is next.

[00:01:03] We want to cultivate that next iteration of us. It's that time of year. Where we're exiting the longest night of the year and we're returning to the light. And so this increases our vitality and our interest in our curiosity and things to come. So for many of us, it's a time to dream big and set goals.

Common Pitfalls of New Year's Resolutions

[00:01:24] But let's be honest, most of us have experienced the not so amazing side of New Year's resolutions, right? Where we fail to follow through and our resolve just falls flat by February. In fact, studies show that 91 percent of people don't achieve their New Year's resolution. With a large percentage abandoning their resolution altogether by the second month of the year in February.

[00:01:50] Isn't that frustrating? I know I was in that boat for many, many years. 

A Fresh Perspective on Setting Goals

[00:01:55] I'm going to share a fresh perspective with you today, not the old worn out New Year's goals and resolutions stuff that you've heard before. We're going to approach this season with a more holistic mindset, a more holistic approach, one that allies with our values, our energy, and natural rhythms.

[00:02:13] As always, I'll share my own personal story of why I once decided that New Year's resolutions would NOT be. So grab your tea, or get in your car on your way to work, or start folding that laundry, and let's dive in to how you can create meaningful, lasting intentions for the year ahead. So let me just start by telling you a story.

[00:02:33] A few years ago, I hit this awesome January 1st slump. I had failed so many New Year's resolutions before. That I finally said to myself, you know what, my New Year's resolution is to make no New Year's resolution. Who else has said that out there? I convinced myself it was freeing, that I didn't need a calendar date to make a change.

[00:02:53] But deep down, it wasn't freedom. It was true avoidance. I was tired of feeling disappointed, so I opted out altogether. Now that I've been down this journey, it's absolutely true that you do not need the calendar date to make a change, however, to avoid it altogether is not the solution. Here's the thing, goals are important.

[00:03:15] They give us direction and help us grow in areas like career, relationships, health, community, and even our legacy. The real problem wasn't the idea of setting goals, but the way I was going about it. My resolutions were often vague or unrealistic or disconnected from what I truly wanted. And eventually I realized that goals shouldn't feel like an obligation.

[00:03:38] Y'all, they should not feel like an obligation. They should light you up, a fire underneath you. They're an opportunity to check in with yourself. It's an opportunity for you to ask, What do I want to create in my life? And by the way, January can be an incredible time to do this because there's this collective energy around us that's all about renewal.

[00:04:00] And it's easier to find like minded people who are focused on the same journey as you. You can use that to build and create the momentum to propel yourself towards change. So I don't want you to poo poo on this new year's resolution thing, let's harness this collective energy and propel ourselves into this future version of ourselves.

[00:04:19] So, in my podcast, I often talk about why it is so hard to change when we desperately want to. 

Key Reasons for Resolution Failures

[00:04:25] Why do we create these New Year's resolutions and then fail? So here are some key reasons that I think that happen. One is we create and build these unrealistic expectations. Many people set goals that are just too big, like losing 20 pounds in a month or completely overhauling their lives overnight.

[00:04:44] It's too overwhelming and unsustainable. As soon as you hit the scale and your weight hasn't budged or heaven forbid you've gained two pounds, forget about it. You are off that diet plan. You are not going to go to the gym anymore. You're going to stop working out. And this happens in so many other areas of our life too.

[00:05:05] Say we want to go 30 days dry January without drinking. Yet, on the 15th, we have a cocktail when we're out with our friends. We're like, well, I'll just drink this weekend then, and I'll start over on Monday. And then February 1st rolls around, and you're drinking the same way that you did before. The other piece is this lack of specificity.

[00:05:24] So resolutions, goals, intentions, however you want to say it, like getting healthy or be happier, is just too vague. Without getting clear steps, it's hard to measure progress. Like, what is happier? What is healthier? You actually have to measure these items with getting healthier. Is it that I'm waking up more easily?

[00:05:46] Is it that I'm sleeping better? Is it that I'm exercising or walking three days a week? When you're gauging, I want to be happier. What does that mean? Do you want to laugh more? Do you want to complain less? Do you want to be less angry? How do you measure those things? What does happier really feel like in your body?

[00:06:08] Do you even know? Number three is the all or nothing thinking. That one slip up can make people feel like they have completely failed. It's what I mentioned in the unrealistic expectations. It leads to abandoning your goals altogether when you slip up. And this is the importance of resilience. You have to build the resilience muscle, which means when you slip and you fall, you get back up.

[00:06:35] When you slip and you fall, which is inevitable, you get back up. And the more and more and the more times you do that, the more resilient you become. Number four is that you have these external pressures. Often resolutions aren't driven by you. They're driven by what we think we should do, rather than what truly resonates and aligns with us.

[00:06:57] The fad right now is that you need to do progressive weightlifting, that all women over the age of 35 should be doing it, and even younger. But here's the deal, what if you hate going to the gym? What if you hate lifting weights? What if you've never lifted weights before? So you pressure yourself to do this, because this is what all the gurus are telling you to do.

[00:07:16] Rather than maybe just moving your body by walking. Going with friends for a walk around the neighborhood or taking a Zumba class or a dance class doing some other type of movement But the external pressures for hearing from social media and all other places that we have to lift weights Even though we hate doing it isn't going to get us to our goal Number five, ignoring the underlying issue.

[00:07:39] And this is so big, babe. People focus on the outcome of what they want instead of addressing the habits, the mindset, or the deeper challenges that keep you stuck. It is almost impossible to have a healthy body if you've been told all of your life everyone in your family is gonna have diabetes and be overweight.

[00:08:01] It's almost impossible to get there. Or let's say that you have this habit of thought that I will never be able to change. This is just who I am. I'm a drinker, or I'm a smoker, or I'm a sweet eater. This is who I am. That underlying thought pattern will not get you to your goal. I remember when I was breaking my drinking habit, it came up so often in my mind that I was the woman who knew about wine.

[00:08:28] I was the go to friend that could find the perfect Bordeaux or the great Rosé. And then now recently working through some of my food patterns, That I relax with this family dinner out at a restaurant two times a week where we're eating hamburgers and we're eating pizza when I'm really trying to change my mindset and my habit around that this isn't necessarily who we are as a family.

[00:08:50] It's who we were as a family, but it doesn't mean that's who we are continuing forward. So if any of these resonate with you, you're not alone. I've been there. Well, 91 percent of the people who've ever had a marital solution have been there too. But here's the good news, there's a better way to approach goals, and it starts with taking this holistic approach.

[00:09:09] So instead, let's throw out the word resolutions, let's throw out the word goals, and let's use the word intention. Because intention is less about achieving a specific outcome. And more about how you want to feel and grow. 

Holistic Approach to Setting Intentions

[00:09:24] Here's how to approach this holistically. Okay. So first off, let's look at the holistic approach is always looking at the mind, the body, the spirit.

[00:09:32] We're going to add in the heart and community and legacy in this. When we start with the mind, then we start with clarity. We ask ourselves, what do I want to learn or focus on mentally this year? Maybe it's practicing mindfulness or reading more or challenging, limiting beliefs. What is or are your habits of the mind, and how can you start changing those to change the way that you view and see the world?

[00:09:58] The second is body. What does your body need? This could be movement, this could be nutrition, this could be rest, or even just listening to your body's signals. So instead of saying, I want to lose 20 pounds, try I'll nourish my body with whole foods and joyful movement. And then you'll want to go back to the chunking it down and figuring out the exact steps that you can get there.

[00:10:20] And more importantly, what will you do when you slip and fall? How will you build resilience? When you might eat the cheeseburger on the fourth day. How do you get past February? Number three is spirit. How will you nurture your connection to yourself and the world around you? This could be within your religion, within spirituality, or just within nature.

[00:10:41] Maybe it's through journaling or meditation or breathwork. Or again, connecting with nature. And if you have no idea what you'd want to do, then this is where I really encourage you to spend five minutes just in silence in the morning before you start doing anything. Before you grab your phone, or maybe you've grabbed your phone and already looked at it because it's such a habit and routine, but you set aside five minutes before or right after you make your coffee and you spend five minutes just sitting there with your coffee in your hand, savoring the smell, or your tea, savoring the warmth in your hand.

[00:11:14] Before you take that first step, what intentions do you have for your relationships? This could be about deepening connections or even better setting boundaries Or, even better than that, is practicing self compassion. I saw our dear friend's house this weekend. She had a list for her kids to check before they leave the house, and the first one is remember to have self compassion.

[00:11:39] And I just thought that was the sweetest thing, and then after that was remember your backpack, remember your after school activity items. And it was just such a beautiful reminder that we do need to remind ourselves of self compassion on a daily basis. Number five is community and legacy. Think about the impact you want to have.

[00:11:57] How can you contribute to your family, your community, or even the world in a way that aligns with your values? I stopped consuming the news on this massive scale. But what I do instead is I listen to what stories my friends or my family have to share with me. And through learning about the news through word of mouth, I'm able to learn more about what my friends care about instead of what side of the aisle we're on.

[00:12:25] And then also, if it's something that piques my interest, then I will go and dive more deeply into that's a little bit of an aside, but it's just one of the ways that I protect my heart, my world holistically, because it wasn't contributing to the legacy that I wanted to leave in my community and with my family.

[00:12:45] Now, I'm not saying that you need to find an intention for all of those areas, actually, I encourage you not to, because again, that is just too much. You're focusing on too many things that when one thing breaks off, it's going to be the domino effect, or it's going to be like the Jenga effect. You're going to remove one of the blocks in the center and it's all going to fall down.

[00:13:08] So I really suggest that you focus on the one that feels the most powerful, that feels the most doable. And so you can write this out. And again, if you receive my email. Then in the weekly podcast email, I'll have these action steps for you so you can go through this. But this is your opportunity to write down these five holistic intention steps and find the one that works best with you instead of using the old worn out ones that you've used for the past 20 years.

[00:13:39] I'm going to quit eating sugar or I'm going to lose weight, right? It's all the same. So this way you can maybe find something that lights you up more. And then attach some of these other things onto it as the year unfolds. 

Syncing Goals with Natural Rhythms

[00:13:52] Finally, maybe you want to align your intentions with your natural rhythm. So if you're still menstruating, you could plan this around your menstrual cycle.

[00:14:01] So with the menstrual cycle, we work, women flow more on this 28 day cycle versus a man more on a 24 hour cycle, but their testosterone and other hormone levels only fluctuating slightly, not as dramatically as ours. So maybe what you can do is that you create your intention of movement that you want to move more.

[00:14:24] You want to add more weightlifting or dance or walking with friends. And so maybe you plan this more around your menstrual cycle, where during the time where you bleed, you really reflect and you rest. And you really use this time to evaluate where you are within your intentions. And How you need to enter this next cycle.

[00:14:44] And so this would be a time where you're not pushing yourself hard in the gym. This is more a time when you are doing. Some walking and some slower movement like yoga or easy dance, but most importantly this is where you get to reflect and reset. So each month you're really creating what your intentions are Instead of it being something that's hard and fast for a 12 month cycle.

[00:15:08] During this follicular phase this is where you plan and initiate. So this is a time of more high energy and creativity. And this is the perfect idea for brainstorming and starting new projects. So if you're talking about your body and movement, this is where you want to hit it hard. This is where you want to do your sprinting exercises.

[00:15:28] This is where you want to lift more heavily. This is where you want to delve into some creative opportunities. This is where you want to wake up earlier. You just have more energy. And then you have the ovulation phase, and this is the moment you want to connect and share. So maybe this is where it's more playful, where you're going to want to do some movement activities with friends or group classes.

[00:15:48] This is where your communication skills are, and it makes for a great time to build relationships and to collaborate. And then lastly, it's the luteal phase. This is the time to really focus and complete what's been going on for the last month. This is where you can channel your energy into finishing up any tasks or loose ends.

[00:16:08] And again, this is where you can continue to push yourself a little harder in your workouts before you enter that menstrual bleed phase again. So by syncing your goals with your body's natural rhythms, You can work with your energy instead of against it. And that is extremely powerful. I so wish that our parents, our mamas knew this information when we were younger, so they could have shared how we really do have these beautiful natural rhythms.

[00:16:37] And so it's okay if we feel more tired and we need to rest more and that soon we're going to have this creative spark and we're going to have tons of energy. And that also, we're going to have this time where we're going to want to draw back in and we're not going to be as social and nothing's wrong with us.

[00:16:54] It's just the way that our natural rhythms flow. 

Making Intentions Stick

[00:16:57] So here are the keys to making these intentions stick. So start small. I like to say, I like to call this chunking down, focus on small, manageable changes that build momentum, consistency beats instead of intensity. So if you do choose to do the menstrual cycle flow, Is you really want to keep that as your rhythm, that as your routine, that is your ritual to where it becomes consistent.

[00:17:22] Now I have to say, if you're in perimenopause and your period are shorter or longer or unpredictable, this is a little bit harder, but you can also go by the moon and you can track it based on like the full moon cycle, it's a beautiful way to do it as well. Because then you'll notice like there are some natural times where you're going to want to withdraw a little bit more and then you're going to want to be, you know, creative and out there in the world.

[00:17:46] Number two is you want to get specific. So define clear, actionable steps. Instead of, I'm going to just exercise more, you really want to get specific. I'm going to exercise 20 minutes three times a week and actually get more specific than that. I am going to walk on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for 20 minutes, and I'm going to go with my friend Cheryl, and we're going to go to this place.

[00:18:07] Now of course, you can add some flow and some flexibility within that, but that gives you at least the structure. And you want to track your progress. So use a journal or an app and you want to celebrate all your wins. Celebrate them. If you go, when you go on Monday, celebrate when you go on Wednesday, celebrate when you go on Friday, celebrate and identify what's working and identify what's not working.

[00:18:30] So if something isn't working, like Friday, just isn't your day, then go on a Saturday or Sunday. And then number four is incorporate rituals. So anchor your intention with rituals. It's so much more fun and enjoyable. And when you do things like breath work or meditation, it can really drop you in to your intention and your connection to your why to the truth of really what you're doing this for that bigger reason.

[00:18:56] And number five, accountability is always great. So sharing a goal with a friend or a coach or a group, just, it really helps just harness that collective energy and can really amplify your momentum. 

Upcoming Workshop and Conclusion

[00:19:07] So as we complete 2024, I invite you to try this holistic approach. So take some moments to reflect on how you want to feel this coming year.

[00:19:17] Think about the small intentional steps you can take to nurture your mind, your body, your spirit, your relationships. And if this resonates with you, then we're going to have some fun in mid January, we'll have a holistic New Year's Reset Workshop. If you are a mama or you are busy around this time of year caretaking others, then for me, I know that January 2nd comes around and I'm like, dang, I didn't have time to reflect on my last year.

[00:19:46] I didn't have time to set my intentions for the following year. I already feel behind. So. I don't do it until mid January anyway. I just kind of skip January 1st altogether, in that sense. Because my kids are out of school, so when they go back to school, right now it's December 22nd or 23rd, and I haven't even begun to think about all of this.

[00:20:08] And I actually have a process that I go through every year, which is what we'll work through together in a recent workshop in the middle of January. So keep an eye out for that if you're interested in it. Then get on my email list. So you'll be able to be the first, you know, when that comes out, it will be 90 minute live session.

[00:20:25] We'll do some breath work together and then we'll have a really. actionable, fun, deep dive and experience into the process of really reviewing our last year, but more importantly, how we're going to step into the following year. And it's wonderful. You'll leave with clarity and connection and a toolkit and help you thrive in 2025.

[00:20:45] So get on my email list if you're not, so you can know all about that when it comes. So thanks for tuning in today, as always, here is to your growth and beautiful intentions. Until next time, remember. Your habits shape your life, so choose them wisely. Next week's episode is so near and dear to my heart and very pertinent to this time of year because many of you may be interested in doing a dry January and just seeing what it feels like to be alcohol free.

[00:21:11] Maybe you've noticed that the frequency you drink or maybe it's the quantity that you drink or you just want to like play around with the idea of not drinking for 30 days. So this is 10 of the tips that I will give you. In order to break your drinking habits. So join me in next week's episode.