Introduction to the Series

[00:00:00] Today is part 3 of a 5 part series where I share the 5 habits of the mind that have changed my life and made me a happier person, and today we are going to talk about the attitude of gratitude. And yeah, before you roll your eyes and say that it's like such a cliche and you hear it everywhere, give this a listen, I promise it will change your life.

[00:00:21] Hey, yo, welcome back to The Habit Within. Today is part three of a five part series about five habits of the mind that have completely transformed my life and made me a happier person. And today we are exploring a practice that fits this time of year. This has not been planned. When I was writing out the five habits that changed my life, this just so happened to fall on the week of Thanksgiving.

[00:01:06] You might have guessed it. Yes, gratitude. 

The Power of Gratitude

[00:01:09] Gratitude has changed my life significantly and made me a happier person and I will talk to you about how this reshaped my own journey the fascinating science behind why it works and how you can make it a natural part of your day. I know gratitude can seem super simple and even cliche, like something that you have heard time and time and time again, like it's another thing on your to do list that you're not doing.

[00:01:33] But I have to tell you that this is such a simple, subtle thing that can truly transform your life. And gratitude is not about ignoring life's challenges or slapping a positive outlook on things. Toxic positivity, as they say. It's about cultivating a mindset that rewires how you see and experience the world.

[00:01:53] It unlocks deeper happiness and inner peace. So let's take a look at this y'all and see how this powerful habit can create this lasting ripple effect change in your life. 

Personal Thanksgiving Reflections

[00:02:05] But before I get into the episode, let's talk a little bit about my life and what's happening. This weekend, we're going to head over to my father in law's.

[00:02:12] This is the first Thanksgiving that we're spending without my mother in law and Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday. So this has been really emotional for everyone. My little one, my nine year old actually said yesterday that he wishes that his grandmother was going to be there.

[00:02:28] Definitely pulled on the heartstrings. And I know my husband is feeling it really deeply right now too, but we're going to have the whole feast that my mother in law would make. We would only bring over like one side dish, but this year we're doing it all. We're doing the turkey and all the sides and the pies.

[00:02:46] So I'm really grateful for my sister in law to really take this on with me since this is both of our first big meals, big feasts to make like this. 

A Unique Turkey Harvest Experience

[00:02:55] And speaking of turkey, my husband and I did a crazy thing last weekend. We were gifted this experience from a friend of mine who couldn't attend where we harvested our own turkey.

[00:03:08] And I have only ever heard the word harvest used when, in relation to like crops, you know, harvesting crops. I didn't know that harvest an animal meant actually to kill it. So my husband and I didn't know what we were walking into when we went to this turkey harvest this past weekend. And I have to say, first off, if you're a vegetarian or a vegan, you may want to fast forward through this part.

[00:03:33] But it was such a beautiful, heartbreaking experience that I'm really glad my kids were there for. I think my husband and I really needed to experience this on our own, and next year we will be bringing the kids. So what we did is we met our hen, we picked out our turkey, it could have been a tom or a hen.

[00:03:55] We picked out our hen, we connected with it, we talked to it, we sang to it, we rocked it, and then we were there when it transitioned. And the whole idea was to revere the process, to revere the animal, to revere the exchange of energy and nutrients from one to the other. And then after we did that, we did all the other things that you need to do to prepare your turkey for a meal.

[00:04:22] And this is the first turkey I've ever made. So go big or go home, I suppose. And, um, yeah, I'll let you guys know how it turned out, but it was such a beautiful, beautiful experience. And so if you are a meat eater, then I do encourage you to see really where your meat is coming from and to experience the whole process of the transition to the dinner table.

[00:04:45] And I'll let you know again, how the turkey turns out. 

Returning to Gratitude

[00:04:48] But back to gratitude. So I haven't always been a person who wakes up in the morning, eager to greet the day. I know a lot of people who've known me in the last decade probably wouldn't believe that about me, but it's true. As a child, I used to wake up feeling like this tug of war was happening between dreamland and the real world.

[00:05:09] And that every morning I felt like I lost. Like I wanted to stay in dreamland, but here I was in the world. And even as an adult, I felt like this, this heaviness within me, not constricting or deep depression or anything like that, but just like a weighted blanket on me, like a wet blanket, smothering out the joy that I desperately knew I wanted to feel.

[00:05:31] Like I could see others expressing joy to its fullest. And that didn't feel like me. That felt artificial to me pretending to be that happy. Y'all, I actually remember in early adulthood, I remember being on vacation, I'd be surrounded by beauty and adventure and friends, and yet I would count down the days until it was over.

[00:05:51] So each morning I'd be like, okay, two more days left, one more day left. And I think when I really sit and like, why, why did that happen to me? It's not because I wasn't enjoying myself. So what was the deal? And I think it kind of came down to wanting to control everything. And when you're on vacation with other people, they have, you know, you have to go with the flow.

[00:06:12] You have to just be chill. But I wanted everything to be so controlled and to know what was going to happen next. And it was really hard for me to just be present. And that heaviness stayed with me for years. And really, it stayed with me until I started practicing gratitude. And it did not come naturally, like I mentioned, it really emerged out of necessity when I broke my drinking habit.

[00:06:35] So on evenings when I would normally drink, like when I would be out with friends or at a party or on date night, and I'd wake up the next morning, I would soak myself in that deep feeling of gratitude. That I wasn't hungover and I would practice that time and time again, because at this point, I had done so much research and study on how to change on how to change our brains and create better habits.

[00:06:59] So one of those things was creating reward. So I knew if I felt deeply grateful for something that it would create associative memory, which would allow me to connect waking up not hungover. With feeling amazing and great. And it would be something that I'd want to continue to do. So that gratitude started really small, but it grew.

[00:07:19] And I began to notice moments of joy that I'd previously overlooked, like tucking my kids in with their little jammies on and their wet hair with this clear mind, with this presence that I had when I was tucking them in, not a rushed, like, got to get these kids to bed because I'm exhausted or because I want to go and have a drink.

[00:07:39] These weren't earth shattering events even y'all. So I need you to recognize that these can be very subtle in your life, but they're enough to anchor you into that present moment. Like when I would put my kids to bed, it anchored me into that present moment of feeling grateful for being there with them at that time in the day.

[00:07:58] So gratitude became my antidote for the need to control and it was my gateway to happiness and I want it to be your gateway to happiness too. 

The Science Behind Gratitude

[00:08:06] So here is why gratitude works. Here is what makes gratitude so powerful. It changes the brain. So practicing gratitude activates these neural circuits responsible for releasing serotonin and dopamine, these feel good chemicals that boost mood and sense of well being.

[00:08:24] And we are a nation deplete of dopamine. If you want a good read, you can read Dopamine Nation by Dr. Limbic called Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence. She talks about how repeated exposure to high dopamine activities like drugs and screens and food, alcohol, shopping, work, all of the things can really lead us to be really desensitized and it reduces our pleasure.

[00:08:51] She also advocates for a period of abstinence from these things in order to rewire the brain. And that's what I focus on a lot in the work I do one on one with women. So if this interests you at all, please reach out. And we can have a little consultation about what that looks like in your life. So if you're interested in learning more about dopamine and its effects, then go and get that book.

[00:09:13] It's really good. And so what better way to start engaging this natural dopamine than by learning how to engage these pathways yourself. And the more that you engage this pathway of gratitude, the stronger it becomes. It's like creating a new trail through a forest. The first few times it's hard.

[00:09:32] You have roots and rocks and trees and branches and all that stuff. But eventually that trail becomes very well worn. And over time, gratitude rewires your brain to focus on what's right rather than what's wrong. It shifts your perspective in a way that feels both subtle and profound. And the benefits don't stop there, y'all.

[00:09:51] Gratitude has been shown to decrease stress, improve sleep, and enhance well being. Makes you just feel better. It's a natural antidepressant. It's our natural antidepressant. We don't have to rely on something external. Like, social media, Netflix, alcohol, sugar, all those other things. You can create this from within.

[00:10:13] So there's been many studies about how gratitude changes the brain and enhances certain areas of the brain. In 2015, a study published in NeuroImage, researchers used functional MRI scans to observe brain activity during gratitude practices. And they found that it lit up the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain where decision making, emotional regulation, and perspective taking occurs.

[00:10:36] So when the participants expressed gratitude, they showed increased neural activity in these areas, which correlated to feeling better, happier, with more social bonding. Another study that was conducted at Indiana University demonstrated that practicing gratitude not only creates immediate feelings of well being, but also leaves a lasting impact on the brain.

[00:10:57] Participants engaged in gratitude journaling showed increased activity in prefrontal cortex three months later. That suggests that the practice of gratitude can have lasting changes in your brain. Gratitude is absolutely free. It's something that you can do anytime and anywhere and it has such profound impacts on your life.

Practical Gratitude Exercises

[00:11:15] And gratitude does not need to be complicated. It can start with just five minutes each morning. And so what you'd want to do is just grab a journal and a pen and set aside five minutes of quiet time. And you want to list three to five things that you're grateful for. It's very important for you to be very specific and let yourself feel the warmth of the things that bring you gratitude. 

[00:11:36] So for example, in Texas, it's finally getting cooler outside. So I would say, I am thankful for the crisp morning air on my walk. Or I would say, I'm grateful for my healthy body that supports me on my walk. Another thing that I could be grateful for is I am so grateful that my husband makes coffee before I get out of bed in the morning.

[00:11:57] And you feel it deeply within your body. And when you're ready, you can expand this out to 10 minutes and then you just list and list and list until your timer goes off. The key here is you have to have it in first person and you need to connect it to the feeling that gratitude brings.

[00:12:15] So it's not enough just to write down a list. You have to feel it too. And remember, if you want to get on my email list, then you'll receive these actionable items that you can start implementing in your life. Because change happens within the action, not just within the consuming. 

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

[00:12:30] So gratitude has the power to transform your experience in the world.

[00:12:34] It's not about pretending life is perfect, because it is not. It's not about bypassing challenges because they will always be there, but it is about shifting your focus to the beauty and abundance that already exists, because there is so much beauty and abundance in the world. If we allow ourselves to see it, I've seen this change, not only in my life, but those closest to me, women I work with.

[00:12:56] And most recently with my husband, who after almost a decade of sharing the power of gratitude with him, who told me recently that he's been incorporating gratitude in his morning meditation and that he just feels so much happier and grounded since he's been doing these morning gratitude. So instead of saying, Oh dude, I've been telling you about this for almost a decade.

[00:13:18] I'm grateful for the fact that he is implementing it. And I actually see a big difference in his life. In the past three weeks, I've noticed these really subtle changes, but specifically about the way that he talks to me and about how he's appreciative of these things that I do in his life that he hadn't done before.

[00:13:35] I mean, he's always been a really nice dude, but this is like, this is taking in another step. So I'm grateful that he's grateful for the gratitude practice that he has in his life. So, as you step into your day, as you step into this, this season of thankfulness, of gratitude, take a moment to breathe and notice what you are grateful for, both big and small.

[00:13:55] It's a practice that over time can open doors to a life filled with more joy, connection and peace. And isn't that what we're looking for? So until next time, take care of yourself, cultivate gratitude, and remember that every small habit has the power to change your world. 

Closing Remarks

[00:14:09] So thank you for listening to The Habit Within.

[00:14:12] If today's episode inspired you, I'd love to hear about it. Share your gratitude practices with your community, leave a review to let me know how this habit is reshaping your life, and until next week, see you then.