Introduction to the Series

[00:00:00] Today's episode is the first of a five part series where I share the top five habits that I broke to be a happier person that absolutely changed my life. Most of the habits I'm gonna share with you over the next five weeks are insidious. They are sneaky little buggers that you might not even know that are robbing you of your joy.

[00:00:18] Today we're gonna talk about complaining, dun, dun, dun, and how complaining robs you of your power. So join me today.

Rebranding the Podcast

[00:00:50] Welcome back to the podcast. If you've been listening for a while, then this is the rebrand that the podcast is under a new name, The Habit Within: Beyond Busy to Bliss. And I am so thankful that you are here. A lot of the podcast vibes will be the same. In January, I'm hoping to get some motivational and inspirational interviews on the podcast so you can hear from others beside myself.

[00:01:17] But yeah, so what I'm really hoping for is that like I mentioned, the bible stayed the same. 

The Power of Actionable Steps

[00:01:25] I mean, we're still looking at how can we take these actionable steps in our lives in order to fulfill our wildest dreams. I truly believe that if we dream it, if we think it, if it drops into our consciousness at any moment, then we are meant to have it, whatever that looks like.

[00:01:43] I want my motto to become your motto, which is 100 percent possible 100 percent of the time, but so often we have to get out of our own habitual thoughts. And emotions and behaviors in order for us to really see the possibility within our lives. So I'll continue to give you these 3D actionable items that can help you release some of the old patterns that you've had in your life in order for you to see the magic that is right there, right in front of you.

[00:02:16] So you can reach out and grab whatever your heart's desire. I want you to know that you absolutely can have it all you can have it all but withholding peace and intention within your heart. So it doesn't feel like your life is frantic and you're going from one thing to the next to the next. But where you have control over it all because you have this sense of inner peace, the habit within. 

The Habit of Complaining

[00:02:40] So I thought a really great way to kick off this new podcast, this rebranding of this podcast is by going through the top five things, these top habits that I broke that not only changed my life, but made me a happier person.

[00:02:57] And when I was jotting down my notes, what I realized is that each one of these is going to be its own episode. So this will be maybe a four or five part series where I walk through the five things that have changed my life because again, I want to give you actionable items that you can take with you if it feels like it resonates so you can start implementing them in your life.

[00:03:18] So I don't want to bombard you with all of these, you know, this podcast isn't meant to just be one where you listen to it while doing a hundred other things. This is your opportunity to have a shorter podcast where you can digest the information and maybe take notes and then actually put them into action.

[00:03:36] Because if we don't put any of this stuff into action or at least contemplate it, then what's the point? What is the point? You could be doing a lot of other things. So a lot of these habits that I broke in order to be a happier human are these really sneaky insidious habits. There are these ones that kind of sneak into our lives, and we often don't even realize that we're doing them. 

[00:03:57] But if we don't realize, if we don't bring these to our consciousness, then it keeps us stuck in negativity. It drains our energy. 

Impact of Complaining

[00:04:05] And the first one that I'm going to talk about here today is complaining. So in today's episode, we're going to explore why maybe we complain, what it does to our lives and how we can shift from complaints to a mindset that's more empowering, fulfilling, and joyful.

[00:04:23] So as always, as we go through this episode, if you feel like it's triggering or it's hitting on some buttons, take a couple deep breaths as you move through and listen. This isn't pointing fingers. This is not to make you feel guilty. It's just for awareness because once we're aware where we can pivot, we can move through life differently.

[00:04:42] So in today's episode, it is a bit of a reset. It's all about letting go of the habit of complaining. Our emotions and our thoughts are all habits. So we can break them. We can change them. Now, if you're like most people though, you might be thinking, but venting feels so good. It's not complaining. It's just venting.

[00:05:00] I have to talk about my husband and my kids and my coworkers and politics and all the things that are going on in the world. And I get it. Sometimes it does feel really good to let off some steam. But here's the deal, it's when it becomes a habit. And when you recognize that you're in this perpetual pattern of constantly venting quote unquote to your friends and into your family, because when you are in the habit of complaining, it pulls you away from your potential.

[00:05:28] It is one of the biggest obstacles that I feel that can lead to peace and fulfillment. And I know that we're all after that. So let's dive into how complaining can impact you and what you can do to shift it and the practical tools that can help you replace complaints with habits that bring you more blissful in a grounded state.

[00:05:49] All right. Do you agree to that? If you agree to that, let's continue on. 

Breaking the Habit of Complaining

[00:05:53] So, let's start by talking about how the habit of complaining is actually affecting you. Complaining feels like a release at first. You feel maybe more connected to somebody else, to other people, and yeah, I get it. We want to keep it real. If somebody asks how things are going, we want to tell them how things are going.

[00:06:12] But repeated complaints, right? The habit, the habitual pattern of complaining. Keep your brain tuned into negative frequency and over time, it's like our brains become so focused on what's wrong instead of what is right. So imagine you're looking through a camera lens that zoomed in on a smudge or a scratch.

[00:06:33] If you focus only on this flaw, you'll miss the beautiful landscape around it. But if you adjust that focus, if you adjust the lens, then you can capture the whole view. You can allow yourself to see the full picture. Where the small imperfections just fade into the background and the beauty of the moment comes into view.

[00:06:53] Essentially, it puts our attention on what's flawed in this world versus what really is beautiful about the world. If we shift from a narrow focus, just looking at the flaw, to something that's broader when we're looking at the whole picture, then we see solutions, gratitude, and we can move in the right direction, it gives us more clarity and a smoother journey going forward.

[00:07:15] But I get it. It feels hard to break out of the complaining cycle once you're in it. It feels like your brain has learned to see the world through this problem focused lens where you're constantly seeing the smudge. Let's not forget the impact this has on your body. When you complain, especially if you're frustrated or stressed, you release cortisol. 

[00:07:35] I have a whole episode on this, but cortisol is your body's stress hormone and high levels of cortisol over time. are not good for us, babe. They lead to poor sleep, lower immunity, and even high blood pressure. A little personal note about this, my husband actually experienced chest pain from his high levels of stress and ended up going to see a cardiologist and having extensive studies done to where they didn't find anything.

[00:08:01] Again, if this is, if you're having chest pain, go and get checked. Don't just assume it's stress, but I'm just reminding you that stress does have an effect on our bodies. It is a real thing. It is scientifically proven. Now, this isn't fluff that I'm telling you. So this is very important for you to get your stress under wraps.

[00:08:21] So if you are a constant complainer, then this can increase to more frustration and stress in your life. So this is for your health, people. So what do you do? So what do you do if you recognize that you're a person who complains? Well, the first step to breaking this habit is to simply notice it. So congratulations if you're like, huh, this kind of sounds like me.

[00:08:41] And here's some ways to tune in to those complaints before they become an automated reaction. Okay? So use a complaint journal. Okay. So this seriously, guys, I mean I remember, back in 2020, I set aside about 10 minutes a day where I would worry about something. I would say, okay, I give myself 10 minutes to do all the research that I can, or maybe it was one day.

[00:09:04] Maybe I'll give myself 10 minutes to journal out all of the things I'm worried about. So these are great ways for you to still have the outlet to where we're not living with rose colored glasses on, but where you can get out all of your concerns because, you know, we can't just bypass them. We have to actually feel them and look at them and see them, but we don't have to take a bath in them.

[00:09:25] We don't have to act like this is our spa day where we're soaking in our complaints. This is where we can work through it. So here are some steps. So you can use a complaint journal where you grab a small notebook and you jot down your complaints when you notice them. So pay attention to what triggered you because that's very important and then how it made you feel.

[00:09:44] And you'll be amazed at how quickly you can reveal the patterns in your day to day life because typically the same things come up time and time again because this is our habitual pattern. Certain situations or certain people, they push your buttons so you can write those things down. Another idea is this 21 day challenge.

[00:10:01] This one was inspired by William Bowen. This involves wearing a bracelet on your wrist and then you switch the bracelet to the other wrist every time you catch yourself complaining. And as you'll notice, as the 21 days moves forward, you'll notice that you're switching it less often. Another idea is to give yourself a daily complaint cap.

[00:10:22] So this is on the same vein as when I was talking about where I give myself a time limit to worry, because that was the particular emotional habit that I was in at that time. What you could do is actually give yourself a complaint cap. So you can say, I can only complain about something five times a day.

[00:10:38] I can only complain about something ten times a day. And remember, your complaints are everything from the traffic that you might complain about every single day to the bad weather, because you might be in a season where it's really cold or rainy, or this could be, I mean, it's any complaint that you have out there.

[00:10:58] And it's really interesting that when you put your focus on it, how often you might be leaning towards complaints. Let me just state it right here. In the middle of this podcast, because I don't think that I mentioned why breaking the habit of complaining was so beneficial to me. When I broke the habit of complaining, I realized that it was disempowering me. 

[00:11:20] When I was complaining, it was taking my power away. When I was complaining, I was putting it in somebody else's hands, versus taking radical responsibility for what was going on in my life. If I'm complaining about the traffic because I chose to send my kids to a school across town, that's my issue.

[00:11:38] There is a perfectly fine school that's in our neighborhood that I could choose to take them to. So if I'm complaining about the choice that I made, that is disempowering. Or let's say that if you live in a rainy city. You can choose to move cities now. I know that somebody out there is going to be like no, Camille, I can't, I have my kids here, I have my parents here I don't have any money to move blah la la la la and they will give you all of the reasons why. 

[00:12:04] But I'm here to tell you that if that is the way that you're going to think about it then you will be living under somebody else's rules instead of your own. You have to switch that script because here is the deal, is that you can move, is that you can figure it out and remember the motto is 100 percent possible, 100 percent of the time and if you don't like that motto, then this might not be the podcast for you because I want us to continue to stay and live in possibility and not in our complaints or in our problems, but only within our solutions.

[00:12:38] Again, we're not bypassing any feelings here, we're allowing those to happen, but complaining is different than really trying to work through to a solution. So when I released this idea of complaining about day to day stuff, like how hot it is in Texas. What the traffic is horrible. You know, when my kids were younger, I'd complain about how I couldn't sleep at all because they would wake me up a lot at night or I had to wake up at five in the morning.

[00:13:06] I think if you take a moment to really just put some awareness on your complaints that you might be surprised at how often they come up. Because they don't have to be big ones. They can be really small ones. And once I was able to release that, I was really able to let in more gratitude and more beauty for the things that were working.

Practical Tools to Shift from Complaints

[00:13:24] So that leads me to my next point here today, which is what are the practical tools to shift from complaints to this positive, to a more positive habit? So once we're aware of that, we are complainers because we all are, it's part of our nature. We can start to replace them with new habits, with ones that actually fill us up and make us better humans that actually bring us into alignment with our goals and help us feel more grounded.

[00:13:52] So the first one of this is you want to reframe the complaint as a solution. So when you catch yourself complaining, ask yourself, what's the one thing I can do about this right now? Instead of dwelling on the problem, this shifts your focus to potential solutions. So for example, if you're frustrated about the never ending to do list, pause and ask, what is the one thing I can take off the list right now?

[00:14:18] This small shift transforms complaint energy into solution energy. Another one is gratitude swap. So each time you catch yourself complaining, swap it with something that you're grateful for. So if you complain about being tired after a long day, you could say, I'm so grateful that I worked through that challenge and that's allowed me to grow.

[00:14:37] Gratitude is such a powerful habit to cultivate and helps us see the positive. Even in challenging situations. So gratitude swap is something that I do quite frequently as my example in traffic, I always say, I'm so grateful that my children have this opportunity to go to this one school. It has been such a monumental shift and so many aspects of their lives.

[00:15:02] And I truly am deeply grateful that they have this opportunity that many don't have. So again, I do my gratitude swap, or I say, I'm so glad that I get this time to listen to podcasts. Or to listen to music and rock out on the things that I like to listen to. Gratitude swap is easy, quick thing that you can do.

[00:15:23] The third thing is build a bliss moment, right? Beyond busy to bliss, right? Practice taking a break instead of a complaint. So this is an interesting one because potentially, your complaining could be due to something else. Like, overwhelmed, being exhausted, needing to eat. So maybe this complaint, maybe you notice that you complain a lot at a certain time of day, then maybe that's just you telling yourself that you need a five minute break.

[00:15:50] So take a few minutes to take some deep breaths or do something small that brings you joy. I love taking quick car naps when I work 12 hour shifts and that gave me so much joy. But I noticed when I started to complain about the busy schedule or not having a 30 minute break scheduled into my 12 hour day or whatever it may be, I allowed myself to take control of that, take my small break, and then I would nap in the car.

[00:16:18] Sometimes creating just a moment of calm will help dissipate that urge to complain. Y'all, the habit of complaining can seem so small. When you actually remove the blinders and see if maybe you're caught in this habit of complaining, Then you'll see how much it really impacts your life. But the good news is, is that we have the power to change.

[00:16:39] You have the power to change by recognizing complaints as they rise up. You can begin to create more space for joy, gratitude, and solutions. 

Conclusion and Next Episode Teaser

[00:16:48] I invite you to try some of these tools out this week and go ahead. And there's a PDF in your show notes that you can download. That can help remind you about what these action items are, just in case you're in the car and traffic, then you won't have to go back to this episode and re listen to it.

[00:17:05] Also, you're welcome to join my email list where I'll send out the PDF every week for any actionable items that we might have. So thank you for joining me on this journey of going beyond busy to bliss. I can't wait to hear how these tools work for you. So feel free to reach out and share your progress until next time let's keep creating habits with them that bring us closer to the life that we want 100 percent possible 100 percent of the time please share this podcast with anyone that you feel might need a little bit more joy, gratitude, and solutions in their lives. Join me next time for part two of the five habits I broke that changed my life and made me a happier person and I'll give you a hint of what next week's is about I'd rather be happy than right.

[00:17:54] So I'd love to hear your guesses about what we're going to talk about next week. Until next time.