Introduction: Who to Listen To?

[00:00:00] How do you know who to listen to? There are so many experts and gurus out there on the internet. Any sort of Google search will bring up all of these. This is the best way. This is the one and only the fastest way. But how do you know who to listen to? Well, in this episode, we will go into that and I'll give you some steps to really figure out what you want and what you need right now.

[00:00:23] So stay tuned to the very end of the episode. See you there.

Viral Post and Expert Advice

[00:00:48] Have you guys seen that recent viral post? It's of a woman who is listing all of the things that you need to do as a woman in order to have a more happy, healthy, and successful life. It is hilarious, and there's multiple variations of this same post. But it really got me thinking about who do you listen to? Who do I listen to?

[00:01:10] What are the things that the, quote unquote, experts are saying that we need to do? Do we actually need to do, and when is enough enough? So yeah, that's what this podcast is going to be about because I know that you guys are as curious as I am. I know that you guys are also doers just like I am, that you are bright and curious, And that you do your research.

[00:01:33] So when somebody says you should take hormone therapy or you should eat protein, that you look into it. But when does it just feel like it's just another thing on our to do list? 

The Overwhelming To-Do List

[00:01:43] Because here's the thing, I did 120 grams of protein almost daily for one year and it was a lot of dang work. It was a whole lot of preparation and hard work and I don't really think, I mean it definitely changed my body composition as well as weightlifting, which is another to do list, right?

[00:02:02] Another thing on the to do list that we need to do is lift weights, but not those dinky five pound weights. We need to progressively lift heavier and heavier and heavier weights to build muscle. Yeah, so I did the 120. 20 grams of protein, and it was a lot of work and not sustainable, even though I did see some benefits.

[00:02:20] And so I'm kind of tweaking that and changing that as I move forward. But this is the list, right? The list goes on and on. You need to go to bed early, but when you go to bed early, it has to be quality sleep, or what's the point of going to bed early? And then you must wake up before the sun rises, cause you know, you gotta meditate and journal and get your quiet time and have 30 minutes of cardio, make your green juice, and don't forget to meal prep for the day.

[00:02:45] And then you need to get your 10, 000 steps in, and don't forget you have to wear your weighted vest, which, I live in Texas, it's 105 the majority of the year. It's too stinkin hot to wear a vest on top of a t shirt and shorts. So I'm always looking around like, oh my gosh, do I need to be doing that too?

[00:03:03] Look at that woman over there, she's wearing her weighted vest. And then, we have to be good humans too. We have to have a clean house, preferably matching clothes, you gotta sign up your kids for all the things to make them smarter, faster, happier, but you also need to love them for who they are, and then they need time to play outside and not too much screen time, but you don't want to put too many rules and regulations on them because they need to live their life and it's all just too much.

[00:03:28] And if you're like me and the women I work with, then you get to a point. Where you drop everything, where it just, you just get tired of checking all of the boxes on all of these things that are supposed to make you happier. And let me say that word again, that are supposed to make you happier, healthier, more aligned and energetic and excited for your life.

[00:03:52] Why isn't it working then? But if you're like most of the women who listen to this podcast, then what's happening is, is you're like, Oh, it's fine. I'll try again on Monday. I'll do better next time. And then you do, and you might do it so great. And you might be so proud of yourself for. A few months even, and then what happens is life, life's like it tends to do, and you fall back into your old tricks.

[00:04:18] And I'm not just talking about your behaviors of scrolling Instagram or procrastination or eating too much or drinking too much or avoidance or whatever your bag of tricks is. I'm talking about these, these that once served you, that once felt really good, but that don't feel that great anymore. Maybe one of these things is you build up walls.

Self-Neglect and Societal Expectations

[00:04:44] You don't reach out for help from your community, from your family, instead you tell yourself that you can do it all. You can do it all yourself. You've been doing it all yourself for so long, you can just continue to do it this way. And really, no one can do it as well as you can anyway, so you might as well do it right the first time.

[00:05:04] Plus, if you don't ask for help, then no one can disappoint you. And no one can do it wrong, or no one could not do it at all, so you can avoid that. Or maybe it's even that you're afraid that asking for help from that person who's going to take too much from you. Who's going to need too much from you, so you build this wall.

[00:05:26] And then, what typically happens is this can lead to self neglect. And you don't mean to! No way do you mean to! But you just don't have enough time. You don't have enough time of that laundry list of things that I just listed above. They're all just real distractions, aren't they anyway, right? They're distractions from what really matters, which is other people, and I say this tongue in cheek.

[00:05:50] What, your boss, your work obligations, your aging parents, your family members, your partner and your children are all more important than you. And shouldn't this be enough anyway? Caring for the people that you love? But why then do you feel so resentful? Because love does not feel aligned to your soul. It does not match the dream that you have for being on this earth right now.

[00:06:14] And then what happens is, cause you're not aligned, you're not fulfilled, you're not tapped into what your actions that match the values that you have within you. The current values of today, not the ones that you're living from then what you do is you look outside of yourself again. You look towards societal and familial expectations about what it means to be good enough. What it means to be beautiful, what it means to be successful.

[00:06:40] And then you start scouring the internet for that next fix. That thing that will fix you. That next fix is actually a dopamine hit too. So you might be a little bit of a dopamine seeker. Which, you're my girl, if you are, cuz so am I, and it feels so good to sign up for that next thing, or to find that thing that you feel like will fix you.

Finding Authenticity and Alignment

[00:07:06] But instead, what if you weren't broken? What if all you needed to do was transform into that authentic expression of you, woman? That is truly aligned with who you are, with your values and your dreams, a life that fully embraces your inner complexity. Your fears, your desires, your wounds, all without judgment, all without self judgment.

[00:07:34] Because there is nothing wrong with you wanting to lift weights to change your body composition. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to meditate and journal. and move your body, and eat well. What is wrong is if you're doing those things to fix a part of you, and not to enhance the beauty that is already within you.

[00:07:57] And if you're like most women, then the reason why you slip back into these old unsavory patterns, reaching back into your old bag of tricks, it's because you are not connecting what all of these experts are saying, which they mean well, and a lot of them are really good pieces of advice, but if you don't attach it to your dreams and your values, you will never get there.

[00:08:26] You will always be looking at the next Monday. I can start over the next Monday. 

Practical Steps to Self-Discovery

[00:08:32] And so maybe you're asking yourself, well, how can I find and transform into this authentic expression of me? How can I feel truly aligned with who I am? And you know, if you've been listening to this podcast that I do work with women one on one, so you can reach out to me about that.

[00:08:47] And I hope you discover this inner knowing by helping you separate your fear from your excitement and what you can claim as truly yours and what is theirs. What is somebody else's goals and aspirations for you and create a personalized and aligned action plan with accountability. But you don't have to work with me to begin this right now.

[00:09:12] And it doesn't even take up too much time in your day. This is not one of those things where. You're like, Oh gosh, he's going to give me another thing on my to do list. No, I'm not saying that. It takes 10 minutes of alone time, five of those minutes are quiet minutes. Which means no scrolling your phone, no texting, no making a to do list, no cooking, cleaning, no petting your animals even, it's where you're in complete silence.

[00:09:37] The two things that you can do is you can like walk around your yard and, you know, a figure eight until that five minutes is up, or you can sit and take deep cleansing breaths where you breathe into your belly and out through your mouth. So into the nose, into the belly, and then out through the mouth.

[00:09:54] You can do that for five minutes, or you can just sit there. You can just sit. And if you're a meditator, great! You can just meditate for five minutes, so it'll go by really fast then. And then, the next five minutes is what we call conscious stream of writing, where you just freeform write. But you're gonna answer one of these two questions.

[00:10:13] One question is, what do I really want? And the other question you could ask yourself is, what do I really need right now? So you would set your timer for five minutes. And you write whatever comes to mind for five minutes. And if you can't think of something, then I want you to write whatever your question is over and over and over again until you come up with something.

[00:10:35] And again, you're not really coming up with something. Whatever comes to mind. So that thing can be like, this exercise is so stupid. When are my five minutes going to be over? It seems like it's been an hour now. I need to take a shower. I need to put in deodorant. I need to eat lunch. Whatever it is, write it all out for five minutes.

[00:10:55] Then I want you to look at your list and I want you to circle the top one to three things that you can implement in that moment or that day. And then I want you to look and see if you can find one thing that feels like an overarching life goal. Or maybe it's a goal for the month, or a goal for the year, but just something that you know that you wouldn't be able to achieve in one day.

[00:11:15] I would love for you to let me know how this is going, what you've come up with, with what you really want, and what you really need right now. And let me tell you, woman, if when you're writing it out And one of your things, one of your stream of consciousness, writing about what you want. If it doesn't say to lift weights and eat 120 grams of protein a day, then don't do it.

[00:11:39] Then don't start lifting weights and eating protein because again, you will not reach your goals if it's not something that feels completely aligned to yourself. Now, if you want to feel more fit and healthy and lighter on your feet, then definitely you can work that within your values to get to this dream of, you know, of whatever, but just saying that you need to do this because somebody else tells you that you need to, in order to be happier, healthier, and more on purpose, it's just not going to work.

[00:12:12] It's just not going to work, my love. 

Conclusion and Upcoming Topics

[00:12:14] So if you have any questions about this, as always, please feel free to reach out to me. And the next week. I might be as bold as to tell you what you really want. So often we don't know what we really, really want. I mean, yeah, you might want a better body or more energy or better sleep or better sex, or I don't know, more spontaneous partner.

[00:12:41] Or a partner at all, a job you love, whatever it might be. But I'm going to tell you what you really, really want underneath all of that. So I'll either tell you what you really want in the next episode, or I'm going to start a series where I talk about the five to 10 things that have really helped me change either my mindset, my behaviors.

[00:13:03] Or my emotions. So the habits that I've implemented or the things that I do, that's a really helped me transform myself to become more of this authentic expression of who I am and how I truly align with my values and my dreams. All right. And to how I embrace my inner complexity, my fears and my desires and my wounds all without judgment, or at least that being the goal.

[00:13:28] So join me next time. And of course, anywhere you listen to podcasts, leave me a five star review and if you could write a review for me, that would be great too, because that really helps this podcast get in the hands or the ears of others that need to listen to it. And something else I wanted to mention is that I will be rebranding this podcast in the coming month, hopefully in the coming month, and I'm wanting to do this for a couple of years, re branding my coaching practice because it's evolved from what I used to do.

[00:13:57] And to something different, and Think Beyond The Drink was a beautiful evolution of where I was at that time in my life, and I've helped hundreds of women break their drinking habit, but I want to go deeper with women. It's not about the alcohol. It's about something else, something deeper. And so that is where the journey that I want to take with women, that I've been doing for the past two years, but I want to continue it in the branding that I have that's available to the world.

[00:14:24] So yeah. Okay. So I will talk to you soon.